“I’m totally maxed—crazy maxed.” my client said. “But, I know I’ll be ok when I get through these projects.”
She described what was on her plate, what her next few weeks looked like and that she wanted to spend time talking about some strategies and tactics to help her manage the load.
As I paused, taking in what she had said, I was reminded that most of us get tricked by thinking that something outside of ourselves will solve IT. Whatever IT is.
How many of you have said one of the following?
- I’ll be ok after I…
- I’ll be ok if I only had…
- I’ll be ok if I can just get through…
- I’ll be ok when I get a new job…
- It’ll all be ok when I sell the company…
- If I had a million dollars, then I’d be ok…
- I’ll be ok when I retire…
Earlier that day, I wasn’t ok. I was in a real pickle and was convinced that I needed to change my situation to be ok in the situation.
After a few hours of stewing and unable to concentrate on work I noticed I was stuck. I asked myself the question “Am I ok, right now?”
Within moments and without effort, I moved from feeling not ok to feeling ok. The thinking about the situation eased its grip and I moved through the rest of my work day pretty effortlessly. I still might choose to attend to and change the situation, but I now have the liberty to do that in my time and on my terms.
So, try it with me.
Close your eyes and say to yourself right now, “I’m ok.”
Give it a minute, maybe say it a few more times. And, just notice how you feel and if your feelings shift or change at all.
Some of you probably felt that you are truly ok. Awesome!
Some of you will say “hell no, I don’t buy it.” That’s fine, I don’t need you to.
And there will be some of you who might not feel it or buy it; but you’re curious about the concept because you like the idea we are pointing to.
What I’m asking you to do is to look at where your feelings of internal peace, safety and comfort truly come from. Do they live in objects or situations or do they live in you? And is how you feel in any given moment dependent on things outside of you or not?
And I want to be explicitly clear; I’m not asking you to think better thoughts. I’m asking you to just explore your feelings of okayness in the present moment.
I’m also proposing that it’s possible for life to feel different—better, easier, more in the flow, more creative—even if nothing outside of you changes.
So, when there’s a lot to do and you’re feeling pressure…
You may or may not meet that deadline.
Your team may or may not hit their goal.
You may or may not get it done.
And, I wonder what possibilities open up for you in the process when the feeling of being ok is where you start from and not a destination you’re trying to get to.
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